The FBI finally figured out that for 25 years, Robert Hanssen (Chris Cooper) was spying for the Russians. That's right, it took them 25 years to figure out that documents were missing and agents were being "compromised." So, in order to catch Hanssen in the act, they send in young agent-in-training Eric O'Neill (Ryan Phillippe), to be his new coffee-boy clerk.

The FBI even created a new department for Hanssen to run, even though he had two months to retirement. Running the 50 member team is Kate Burroughs (the always stern Laura Linney. Was Joan Allen busy?), an FBI lifer without an outside life.

Writer-director Billy Ray, with co-writers Adam Mazer and William Rotko, left out all the fascinating details about Hanssen, relying instead on portraying him as a stiff-necked blowhard angry for being stuck in a basement office without a window.

In my opinion, Hanssen recognized he wasn't appreciated so he got even.

I did some online research and here is what the 3 writers left out: Hanssen's saintly wife Bonnie (Kathleen Quinlan) found out early on that he was spying but took him to a priest. They belonged to Opus Dei and he was told to stop and give the money he got for spying to Mother Theresa. Hanssen had a high school buddy that, when the guy was in Vietnam, sent him nude photos of his devout wife. Years later, Hanssen hid a miniature video camera in his bedroom where he photographed himself and Bonnie making love. Hanssen and his friend later watched the homemade sex film together in the family den. Some would say Hanssen's behavior suggests homosexual tendencies.

Hanssen's brother-in-law told the slow-to-act FBI to check him out. Hanssen never took a polygraph. Later in life, Hanssen spent hours in his basement cruising Internet porn sites, even posting masturbatory fantasies online and using the real name of his wife and friends. Then he became friends with a stripper who became addicted to cocaine. He spent $80,000 on her. Hanssen said no sex ever took place.

Wouldn't you want to see that movie?

What is the hook here? The "Breach" trailer teases us with Burroughs telling O'Neill "Hanssen is a sexual deviant." What we see is a pompous, bitter, resentful functionary who can tell if someone stepped inside his office. He's anal-retentive and rightly paranoid and keeps bragging he can read anybody. He knows who is lying – except O'Neill.

O'Neill has an East German wife Juliana (Caroline Dhavernas) who is not at all impressed that her husband is working for Hanssen and is moving up the FBI food chain. Hey, dummy, he's working on a case for the FBI – enough said. Instead, Juliana wants to know why he is keeping later hours and getting phone calls in the middle of the night. Does she think he is the FBI's night watchman?

The writers do not even try to give us Hanssen's 25 year-long reason. Did he think he was a patriot? Supposedly, he did not do it for the money, but spending $80,000 on a stripper shows a conscious vengeance towards his wife and devout Catholic lifestyle.

He wanted to be a spy but didn't enjoy it! He was ignored by the Bureau so he "showed them." Hanssen, as a character study, is far more interesting than the "Breach" allows. The real Hanssen would have been a Hitlerian villain, so instead of delving into his psyche, we are stuck with the last few months of the take-down.

"Breach" centers on O'Neill and his duplicity. He's not cut out for this deception and the task, but heads of departments need clerks. And a master spy like Hanssen eventually has to confess to an underling and cry.

Incredibly, Ray does build tension but without the buddy sex, the wife's complicity (at least smarter than most active serial killer's wives), the basement masturbation, and the stripper, "Breach" is a tedious procedural bore.

Cooper is talented and he knows Hanssen is a drip, so he gives the character a lot more torment and frustration. But without showing the pleasure of deception, we can't understand the man.

I like Phillippe and he is one terrific movie away from being a huge star. (Note to Phillippe - make friends with "Crank" directors Mark Neveldine and Brian Taylor). Ray has directed him with a strong hand – Phillippe's standard pursed-lips line readings and relied-upon facial expressions are gone. The sets are realistic with the O'Neills living in a crummy apartment and the FBI's basement offices representing any mail room across America.

(We at zboneman.com are excited to welcome the prolific and multi-talented writer Victoria Alexander to our staff. Critic for http://www.filmsinreview.com/ and pundit and humorist responsible for the candid and fearlessly funny "The Devil's Hammer," her column appears every Monday on http://fromthebalcony.com. Start off your week with a good hard laugh. It's a thrill to have her on board. Victoria Alexander answers every email and can be contacted directly at .)