Captivity is horrifying...ly bad. It's yet another entry in the increasingly tired "torture porn" genre (or as we at Zboneman.com like to call it, "gornography"). Essentially, this flick is Saw meets Hostel with a bit of Fear Factor thrown in for good (make that bad) measure. And while Captivity is supposed to be a horror movie, the only really scary thing about it is that it was (allegedly) directed by Roland Joffe. Yes, the same Roland Joffe who gave us the brilliant cinematic staples, The Mission and The Killing Fields.

In Captivity, the beautiful Elisha Cuthber (I'll cut right to the chase–she doesn't get naked in this film save for a blurred profile shot) is Jennifer, a lonely model in dire need of some time off. One evening, while clubbing with her pet dog (can you say, "Paris Hitlon"?), our unsympathetic heroine is drugged and rendered unconscious. When she awakens, she finds herself within the confines of a dungeon. Before long, Jennifer becomes the unwilling pawn in a sociopath's sick and twisted game of cat an mouth.

Simply put, Captivity is cinematic retardation. From the opening moments in which the lead character is drugged and dragged from a heavily populated night club (apparently everyone was too loaded and or entranced by house music to see the celeb abducted in plain sight) I knew I was in trouble. Once Jennifer awakens, things go from dumb to... dumber.

Is there gore? Actually quite a bit. In fact, one moment even made me a tad nauseous. After strapping Jennifer down to a table, the film's primary sicko prepares a blood and body part milkshake and forces the reluctant model to drink it. A disgusting moment, but one (like all the other moments here) that doesn't amount to anything.

Unlike Saw and Hostel, there is no sense of style or trickery at play in Captivity. There's a hint that there might be a twist or a reveal, but the film never really follows through. When we find out who the perpetrator of this psychopathic business is, there's no element of surprise. This freak is simply doing what he does because he can, and as played in Captivity, that's simply a boring conceit. In fact, when we finally do see who's pulling the strings, I was sort of reminded of that shitty Joel Schumacher film 8mm. Actually, Captivity is much worse - if that can be imagined.

As for Roland Joffe's involvement in this dull exercise in mediocrity, I've read that he left the project before it was finished, and that After Dark Films picked it up shortly thereafter. That would explain a lot. It's also completely obvious why After Dark Films pulled that awful billboard stunt a couple months back (the studio paid to have a billboard put up off the freeway, depicting a woman being tortured–free for everyone to see). Because the movie is shit and controversy sells. Well, that little stunt appeared to backfire. Craptivity is on it's way to becoming one of the big bombs of the summer, and deservedly so.