Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen is a film that you will love if you're in the target demographic and hate if you are not. As I mentioned in my review for Catch That Kid, this is a film custom made for "tweens," (girl tweens in this case) the demographic comprised of pre-teens in that awkward period between Nickelodeon and MTV. Because CTDQ didn't require a great deal of attention to the plot twists on screen, I couldn't help but watch how the youngsters I was surrounded by were reacting to this movie (actually, calling CTDQ a "movie" is something of a misnomer).

There were plenty of teenage girls in attendance in groups of 3 to 8 and I noticed the older groups of girls (the ones who wear the low-cut Britney Spears jeans) didn't seem anymore glued to the screen than myself. They seemed much more absorbed in their own group discussions and frequent sorties to the snack bar. The younger kids, however, (my own girls included) were eating this fluff up like cotton candy.

Lindsay Lohan, whom my girls recognized from the remake of the Parent Trap, and who acquitted herself very nicely in the surprisingly entertaining Freaky Friday (also a remake) does a serviceable job once again. It's easy to understand why young girls would want to be like Lindsay - she can sing and dance, always wears the coolest clothes and is a movie star. CTDQ is a thoroghly sanitized comedy with a good message about loyalty and individuality, that plays to Lohan's charms and gives the target audience a chance to vicariously live the life of a teen Diva.

The movie itself is more a series of costume changes and set pieces than it is a coherent connection of scenes, and, for all I know, the plot could have been lifted form a Lizzy Maquire episode. Lola (Lohan) is a hip New York kid who is popular in school and very much smitten by a rock star played by Adam Garcia who is the lead singer of a band called Sidarthur. Everything is perfectly groovy in her Greenwich Village life, until her mother (Glenne Headly) decides to move her pottery business out of the city into the suburbs of New Jersey.

Thus, overnight Lola goes from being the center of attention with her dazzling outfits, honey blond hair and penchant for self-dramatization (she dreams of becoming an actress), to finding herself the odd-girl-out. Her new school is populated with pretentious preppies and very much dominated by a clique of conceited rich kids led by the evil princess Carla (Megan Fox). After finding a friend in a fellow outsider played by Alison Pill, Lola sets about climbing back up the social ladder.

Her first move is to audition for the lead in the big school play, which instantly pits her against Carla who is also vying for the part. Carol Kane plays the school's Drama teacher with her trademark quirkiness, and I have to say that I found it a bit sad to see her reduced to doing an impression of herself as a frumpy teacher with a bad hair-do. In any case, as you might expect, Kane taps Lola to play the lead role of "Eliza." (The play is an updated version of Pygmalion called "Eliza Rocks.") a perky production that affords Lohan plenty of opportunity to prance about and "Feel Pretty," all of which goes to her head to the point where she even risks losing the loyalty of her one and only friend.

The other subplot that figures into her social-climbing agenda involves getting into the farewell concert of Sidarthur and somehow sneaking into the private after-party that she's been bragging about being invited to. Failing on this count would do serious damage to her new-found cred and would amount to a moral victory for her arch-nemesis Carla. Who, of course, is following these developments like a hawk.

Disney certainly has endeavored to keep this one as tame and squeaky clean as possible, which I applaud as it is a film aimed at eleven year olds. (Particularly in light of the fact that the last film they aimed at this target audience, Catch That Kid, to an extent glorified stealing and lying). There are no such moral ambiguities here. In fact, upon meeting her rock n roll idol she is disillusioned to learn that he's an alcoholic who's nearing the end of his rope, and she even manages to inspire him to reform his self-destructive ways.

I'm going to base at least some of my grade for this film upon it's entertainment value for the audience it is targeting. From soup to nuts this movie has never tried to pass itself off as anything beyond which it obviously is. By the same token the kids in the screening I attended who were the same age and in some instances a few years younger than the characters on screen, were murmuring about how lame it was. Kids old enough to know the difference between a movie like this and say John Hughes' Sixteen Candles, will no doubt agree with those who turned in the lame verdict.

Disney has returned to it's traditional values here, by offering up a movie (again I use the term loosely) that is best suited for kids and pre-teens and whose subject matter is entirely above reproach. Thus the wise move here, since you really don't want to shell out a fortune to sit through this thing with your kids - would be to pacify them until it comes out on video. Trust me the only purpose an adult viewer could possibly serve during this film would be to explain what a Pygmalion is.