So late one night, I had the simple task of picking one film to see out of three possible contestants; Against the Ropes, Welcome to Mooseport, or Eurotrip. Like a complete friggin' idiot, I chose Eurotrip because I figured it would be the liveliest and the film least likely to cause drowsiness at such an hour. Oops!

The trailer trumpets that this little opus was made by the same team that delivered the sporadically entertaining Road Trip. In fact, I do believe at some point there was a Road Trip sequel in development that would feature the gang from the first picture traveling to England and engaging in all sorts of mischief. From what I gather, that idea was scrapped so that the Road Trip producers might put together a new group of kids (whom they wouldn't have to pay as much) and send them to the U.K. instead. The end result is this mess of a movie, a foul, ineptly made film that made me laugh four times (I counted). It's a wonder I didn't doze off.

In this misbegotten raunch-fest, Scott Mechlowicz plays Scott Thomas, a young man who's just been dumped by his hot girlfriend on the day of his high school graduation. This shock to the system sends the young man reeling, and he decides that it might do his sore heart some good to fly off to London with his buddy Cooper (Jacob Pitts) so that he might hook up with a European girl he's been communicating with via the internet.

I'm not one of those people who worshipped the American Pie franchise (althouth I did think that each installment was better than the previous), but I do think that the cast from those pictures were likable and developed some chemistry. More importantly you couldn't help but root for Jason Biggs' character.

Mechlowicz is a blank as Scott. I wouldn't call him awful, but I never really found myself rooting for him. Pitts is a complete bore as Cooper (a sort of Stiffler class clown-character). He is clearly the smart ass of the bunch, but he just doesn't have the comic-energy to make the this seen-it-before shtick work. He came across as a docile version of Steve Zahn.

Travis Wester plays Jamie, the token nerd, a nebbish camera-lover whom we know right from the beginning, will ultimately get laid at some point in the picture. Michelle Trachtenberg is likable and cute as Jenny, Jamie's loving sister (perhaps too loving). There are also some cameos by the likes of Fred Armisen (Saturday Night Live) and Lucy Lawless (Xena), but it's Matt Damon who steals the show as a pierced and tattooed rocker who dazzles a party crowd with his anti-Scott anthem.

In the early goings it did appear as if this movie might be somewhat funny. Aside from the previously mentioned Matt Damon cameo, there's a moment in which Cooper convinces a dimwitted bimbo to take her top off in a hot tub. This sequence is so outlandishly stupid that it almost worked. Unfortunately, by the time the gang gets to Merry old Engalnd, it all goes downhill faster than you can say Benny Hill. Their shenanigans and misadventures fail miserably to make us laugh as they use European stereotypes as the fodder for one flat and stale bit after another. The only thing these ugly Americans succeed in doing is insulting the intelligence of the audience.

Triumph the Insult Comic Dog, gets away with this kind of stuff because his cheap shots are hysterical, but in Eurotrip the writing and ineptitude of these actors is so limiting that none of their attempts at this kind of comedy are even remotely funny. Mostly, the proceedings are offensive. Unless, of course, you find an eight-year-old dressed as Hitler marching around a living room funny. And if that weren't offensive enough, we see one of the film makers teaching this child actor how to properly march during the end credits. NOT FUNNY!

Eurotrip does offer up sufficient amounts of nudity - including a sex scene in a church confessional and an all-male nude beach sequence (this film offers up more penises than Porky's II: The Next Day), but lots of nudity does not a good movie make, and Eurotrip is not a good movie.

Even by dumb teen-sex-comedy standards Eurotrip is a weak excuse of a film. In the next couple of days, I'll find out if the movie choice I made this particular evening was the right one. I'm praying it wasn't. If it was, then I'm in for one hell of a long weekend!