Perhaps the worst thing about this terrible sequel to a pointless remake is that somewhere, buried deep within, writer/director Rob Zombie actually had some interesting ideas to explore in Halloween 2. Ideas that are so minimally explored that they're not even strong enough to be considered afterthoughts.

Halloween 2 picks up directly where Halloween ended, and finds a bloodied and frantic Laurie Strode (Scout Taylor-Compton) revealing to a police officer that she killed boogeyman Michael Myers (Tyler Mane). Cut to a year later. Laurie has moved on, but she's plagued by nightmarish visions of her monstrous assailant. Little does Strode know that Myers (whose body was never found–how convenient) is alive and well, and taking advise from his deceased mother (played by Mrs. Zombie). Where and why he's been laying low for a year isn't really explained, but then it was never explained why Myers was missing for several years in H20, so who cares, right? Meanwhile, Myers' longtime psychiatrist Sam Loomis (played by veteran actor Malcolm McDowell) has become a celebrity of sorts, and he's milking his new found fame for all its worth through television appearances and the writing of a book that brings to fruition elements of Laurie's life that even she herself was unaware of.

Zombie has stated that he wanted Halloween 2 to be its own beast. His take on 2007's Halloween was a tale of two movies; the first was a complete bastardization of Myers' back-story (Myers is actually the product of an abusive white trash upbringing? Really?), and the second was a virtual aping of Carpenter's original. While the bulk of Halloween 2 certainly is its own beast (save for a reveal involving Strode's past, and a hospital opening which is very reminiscent of Rick Rosenthal's sequel to Carpenter's 78 original), it isn't a very interesting beast. Its vile, cynical, and ugly but it hasn't the soul or lively spirit of Zombie's strongest work-- the wickedly obscene but sickly entertaining Devil's Rejects.

I love the notion that following the events in the first film, the one time conservative Laurie Strode is now a partying lose cannon while her one time free spirit pal Annie (Danielle Harris, who played a young girl tormented by Michael Myers in Halloween 4 and 5 over twenty years ago) is now the introverted one. Equally interesting is the idea that Sam Loomis is a prickish publicity whore (instead of the tortured, guilt ridden Loomis made famous but the wonderful Donald Pleasence). These are interesting character paths implemented by Zombie, but they're never really developed, particularly where Annie is concerned. McDowell has fun here, but his so-called character arc is laughably awful, and in the end, his entire role is virtually unnecessary. I suppose it is his book that sends Laurie over the edge, but beyond that, Loomis serves very little purpose here. A shame too because the film's biggest laugh involves a verbal altercation between Loomis and a famed parodist on a t.v. talk show.

Even the kills here are boring. Myers' methods are painfully redundant save for a brutal head stomp and a vicious face smash to the mirror. In fact, Myers' appearances throughout the film were so dull and uninspired, that I almost wish Zombie would have ditched the killer aspect all together and just made a drama about how the lives of this film's central characters were affected by this maniac. But then, I don't suppose anyone would have gone for that.

Listen, I like Rob Zombie a lot. I really do. But I think he's at his best when he's delving into his own creations instead of trying to take a classic property and bring his own sensibility to it. With Halloween 2, he's fashioned what is easily his worst effort (yes, even worse than the first). A chaotic, messy picture full of so many "What the f***!" moments, I seriously lost count. Sure, there's an effective camera shot here, and a perversely shocking moment there, but for the most part, Halloween 2 isn't particularly scary, and it has no real sense of tone. And now comes word that Zombie is considering remaking The Blob. I can's speak for the rest of you, but I simply have no interest in seeing a monstrous red glob fall from the sky, and land smack dab in the middle of a trailer park. For the love of all that is holy Rob, no more reboots! Give us one of your own creations.