Is nothing sacred in Hollywood? I've had it up to here with remakes! Particularly of films that don't need to be remade. That would be about 99% of them. Now, the John Carpenter classic Halloween has been subjected to a make-over and with Rob Zombie (Devil's Rejects) at the helm no less. At the very least, his involvement gave me a glimmer of hope. Not because he's a masterful film maker (not yet anyway), but because I detect greatness in him. More importantly, he clearly loves the genre.

As his take on Halloween opened, my biggest fears materialized. Not only are the opening portions of this re-imagining brimming with an over abundance of white trash culture, but Zombie commits the cardinal sin of giving Michael Myers a conscience. Zombie seems to have more of an understanding of actual serial killers (think Ed Gein and Jeffrey Dahmer) than Michael Myers. If the opposite were true, he wouldn't have delved into Myers' past at all. What makes Michael so scary is not knowing what makes him tick. Having said that, the first three quarters of this Halloween are somewhat original. When Myers eventually escapes from the mental institution and makes his way back to Haddonfield, Zombie resorts to a virtual aping of Carpenter's film.

Some of the locations have changed and there's more skin and more blood (a lot more blood) but essentially, this is the same stuff. Ultimately, things get pretty boring. Zombie's casting choices are strong. Tyler Mane (Sabertooth in X-Men) is physically imposing and even when his face is deep behind that famed William Shatner mask, terror and ferocity seep through. Mane really does capture the essence of this character. Malcolm McDowell takes over a role made famous by the wonderful Donald Pleasence. McDowell brings a bizarre sense of humor to the part, and while he's fine, I'd be lying if I said I didn't expect more. Sheri Moon (aka Mrs. Rob Zombie) is surprisingly effective as Michael's loving but sorely misguided mother. The movie really gets it's kick from a dynamite roster of cult icons in various supporting roles including Ken Foree (Dawn of the Dead), Brad Dourif (Child's Play), Clint Howard (The Ice Cream Man), Udo Kier (Flesh For Frankenstein), Dee Wallace (The Howling), Danny Trejo (Desperado), Micky Dolenz (The Monkees), Sybil Danning (Reform School Girls), William Forsythe (Out For Justice), and Sid Haig, Bill Moseley and Leslie Easterbrook from Devil's Rejects.

Zombie also winks at fans of the numerous Halloween sequels by including Danielle Harris who appeared in parts four and five when she was just a little girl. Now at age 30, Harris is . . . how should I put this? All filled out in just the right places. During several moments in this picture, I wished Zombie would have just gotten rid of the Shatner mask and changed the name of the flick so this would have played as an original effort. But he didn't do that, and ultimately, the shadow of Carpenter's film looms large. This Halloween has sporadically placed moments of effectiveness and Zombie does a great job shooting the picture, but the pacing is off and the ending is positively awful (Zombie would have been wise to end the film fifteen minutes earlier – perhaps in the striking, eerily conceived swimming pool sequence). Ultimately, there's no reason for this film to exist. On a final note, Zombie tosses in a few scenes of Howard Hawke's The Thing in the background (as Carpenter did in his version). Here's to hoping that the White Zombie front man doesn't take a stab at remaking that one (Carpenter's take remains just as effective as the original). I like Rob as a film maker, but he should stick to originals.