zBoneman.com -- Home Movie Reviews

Hide and Seek (2005)

Hide and Seek
. . . that you were a fool to do such a lame movie?

Starring:

Robert DeNiro
Dakota Fanning
Famke Janssen
Dylan Baker
Elisabeth Shue
Amy Irving

Released In:

2005

Rated:

R

Reviewed By:

Kevin Jones

Grade:

D+


Hide and Seek boasts a roster of A-list acting talent, perhaps the two finest actors of their respective generations in DeNiro and Dakota Fanning and, if the trailers can be trusted, a promising evening of thrills and chills at the Bijou. As we begin, DeNiro and his daughter Emily are beginning the recovery process after having lost their wife and/or mother to suicide. Moving away from New York, they hope to begin anew in a creepy isolated house, on the edge of some even creepier woods. DeNiro plays a Clinical Psychologist, and for her part, Fanning is perfect as the badly drawn girl, with the dark, bagged eyes that hide behind them the secret of the film.

Things soon take a turn for the weird when Emily mutilates her favorite bed-time doll and begins to speak of a new "imaginary" friend that goes by the name of Charlie. As Psychologists tend to do, DeNiro is concerned by this new character in his daughters life, but dismisses it as a normal part of the recovery process. As it turns out, as you may well surmise, Charlie is anything but a healthy presence in the house, an sure enough, bizarre things begin to occur.

Director John Polson (Swimfan), whose track record certainly doesn't suggest that he'd be the best choice to helm a project of this magnitude, gets the look of the film right, but the pacing is all wrong and the cheap-scares that dot the first act are of the most banal sort, (cats and tea kettles, power-outages, you name it) all courtesy of the bag of psych/thriller cliches. The cast (Famke Janssen, Dylan Baker, Elisabeth Shue, Amy Irving) all acquit themselves as well as you would expect, but you can practically read along with the dialogue and the story never really engages the audience in any sort of novel or creative way. We've seen all this before, and seen it done much better.

Of course, it all boils down to the big revelation as to who or what "Charlie" turns out to be - but any amateur sleuth worth his gum could see this one coming down the St. Lawrence Seaway. Once the identity has been let out of the bag, you're pretty much praying that the movie ends as fast as possible. Just terribly painful to watch - the ending. Not in the least bit scary - just sad beyond description. The creators of Hide and Seek, offer two or three possible "Charlie" candidates - hoping that may throw enough of a head-fake at the audience so as to surprise them. I'm going to rate this film according to how successful they managed to do this.

:: zBoneman.com Reader Comments ::

Trey

Trey

Hide and seek ranks as the second most embarrassed i've been for Robert DiNero - a close second behind analize this.

My lips are sealed

My lips are sealed

The thing that cracks me up about Hide and Seek is that now they're running these ad campaigns suggesting that the movie is so great that nobody is spoiling the ending for their friends - Like it was the sixth Sense or something. The real reason they're with holding the information is because they don't want to be the only ones who shelled-out 8 bucks to see this piece of crap.

eminem

eminem

Hide and Seek? Kind of Weak - Cry and Weap - Try and sleep . . . all better titles for this predictable disaster

Marsha Wooten

Marsha Wooten

I can't believe you guys are bashing Hide and Seek so badly, DeNiro and Fanning are both excellent in this, and for some of us the ending was a surprise and the film was scary - you need to get over yourselves and just enjoy a film once in a while.

Slimfast

Slimfast

Miss Wooten, while it's true that DeNiro and Fanning are real professionals at what they do, they should have thought better of getting involved with a project that is this poorly written and directed by someone whose only experience with a feature film was Swimfan. Go see Swimfan then get back to me.

seethrow

seethrow

Hide And Seek was a good movie as it was hard to find out who the real killer was. The neighbor was a good suspect, and so was the cop and the real estate guy. YOu even had to wonder if it weren't some sort of supernatural villain. But even after watching it i had to watch it again to understand the wife part.

Heather

Heather

I also felt that Hide and Seek was an effective thriller. It's no masterpiece but I think the reviewer is being a little to hard on it.

poopalot

poopalot

There were a couple of times in this film when I actually laughed at how bad Robert DiNero was. If that tells you anything about this piece of crap

Tye

Tye

I think hide seek was a great movie that makes u think and want to go back at watch it again because it has soo many different meanings and morals thats kindof hard to figure out...but its a good movie for those who likes to analize things cause thats wat u just might have to do to get the full meaning.

Add your own comment here and see it posted immediately!