Norbit is an epic turd. A colossal failure of epic proportions. If this description of Eddie Murphy's latest film sounds familiar, that's because I used the same words to describe Epic Movie not but two weeks ago. And you know what? Pound for pound, Norbit might even be worse than that unfunny opus? Why? Well for starters, this flick is a half hour longer.

In Norbit , Murphy opts to do something we've never seen him do before (yes, I'm being facetious) play multiple roles in a single movie. The primary role is that of Norbit, a nebbish orphan who grows up to marry the woman of his nightmares (an enormously heavy set woman named Rasputia (ha ha) –also played by Murphy). His life is shaken up a bit when a girl from his youth (played by Thandie Newton, in a completely thankless role) comes back to town and announces her engagement to a man (played by Cuba Gooding Jr.) who may or may not actually love her. When Rasputia discovers that Norbit may still have unrequited feelings for this woman from his past, she wastes no time in making his life a living hell.

Norbit is quite simply an awful film. It's unfunny, uninspired, unoriginal, and extremely offensive. I remember folks being up in arms when The Farrelly Brothers released Shallow Hal back in 2001. "It's demeaning towards overweight people" folks said. I remember thinking how absurd that was. Shallow Hal may not be the definition of classic comedy, but it's message about loving people for who they are on the inside, came through loud and clear. Norbit by comparison is making jokes at the expense of obesity. Nearly every moment Rasputia is on screen, we are supposed to laugh at her because of her size. We get shots of her barreling down water slides, scenes in which she tries to squeeze into tiny automobiles, and one horrific moment in which she drives a miniature show pony to tears by all but riding it into the ground.

Eddie Murphy has made the multiple role schtick work before (most successfully in Coming to America –his Jewish barber bit is genius), but here, it always feels like Murphy is overacting. When I look at the annoying monstrosity that is Rasputia, I simply see Murphy pushing for laughs that never materialize, following in the footsteps of the similarly lame Martin Lawrence vehicle "Big Momma." What's more, there isn't anything remotely human about any of these characters. Love or hate his Nutty Professor films, there was a kind of sweetness at the center of those movies - particularly in the way Murphy played the lovable Sherman Klump. Klump came across as a real guy and I cared about him. I didn't care about anyone in this picture, granted that would have been fine if the movie were funny, but believe me, it isn't.

The real star of Norbit is make-up effects wizard Rick Baker (An American Werewolf in London) who, despite Murphy's surprisingly uninspired performance, manages to make the comedian look like a four hundred and fifty pound female version of Eddie Murphy. Murphy also plays an elderly Asian man, and while that make-up is equally astonishing, it all goes for naught amid this unfunny, unoriginal embarrassingly bad excuse for a comedy.

Norbit is all the more disheartening coming on the heels of Murphy's career revitalizing turn in the form of Dreamgirl's James Early. It's just sad that he followed up that with this, but then, it should be noted that Norbit was already shooting before Murphy hopped aboard the Dreamgirls Oscar train, so hopefully this isn't an accurate forecast of what's to come for the undeniably gifted Murphy. With Dreamgirls Murphy demonstrated the kind of serio-comic promise, that would lead one to hope that he may, to some degree, start taking the kind of roles that could lead him down a similar career path that fellow SNL all-star Bill Murray has spun into such a solid second-wind. The talent is there, the question is whether he can eschew his customary 8 digit paycheck (as he did for Dreamgirls) in favor of projects that would enable him to find out just how deep his acting talent runs. Would that we get the chance to find out. While I'm off in Dreamland, how would it be to see the two comic legends Murray and Murphy together in some sort of Midnight Run/Silver Streak kind of reluctant buddy road caper?

As for Norbit, it may very well be the worst film of Murphy's career - rivaling even The Haunted Mansion, Best Defense, Beverly Hills Cop III, and The Doctor Doolittle films (I didn't mention The Adventures of Pluto Nash because, believe it or not, I never actually saw it). Let us hope that Dreamgirls will inspire Murphy to move in a new direction and take some chances, because if the Bill Condon musical proved anything, it's that this one time comedy king still has plenty of juice left in him. I'm just going to pretend that Norbit never happened.