BEAUTY SHOP (PG-13)
Starring Queen Latifah, Alicia Silverstone, Kevin Bacon, and Djimon Hounsou
Released by MGM

Beauty Shop, or as I prefer to call it "Beauty Slop," is a spin-off of the popular Barbershop franchise, and is about as exciting as getting an extreme make-over at Super Cuts.

This rather obvious comedy features Queen Latifah as Gina Norris (this character first appeared in Barbershop 2), a talented hair dresser who sets out to fulfill her dream of running her own hair salon after experiencing endless verbal torture at the hands of her previous boss, an egomaniacal hair stylist (played by the super-swishy Kevin Bacon - as Kato Kalen).

My wife and I are good friends with a hair stylist, and every now and again, she tells us crazy little snippets of gossip she hears around the salon. Sadly, none of the stuff in Beauty Shop is half as entertaining.

Instead, this flick more or less rehashes the concept of Barbershop. The problem is Beauty Shop doesn't have the edge of the film that spawned it - by shear repetition this premise has become about as sharp as a pair of Kindergarten scissors. Sure, there are a couple of funny one-liners here and there, but not enough to sustain a feature. Mostly we just get boring chit chat and the occasional cat fight.

Queen Latifah can be an engaging performer given the right material, and thankfully her character is a little more textured than the one-line spouting blowhard of Barbershop 2. She does dial it down a notch here (something she would have been well-advised to do in the wildly idiotic Bringing Down the House), but all the likability in the world can't hide the fact that Beauty Shop is nothing more than a little-off-the-top compared to the Barbershop films or more pointedly the wonderful banter on display between Eddie Murphy and Arsenio Hall's collection of characters in Coming to America.

Kevin Bacon is funny - for about seven minutes. But, as you might expect, this one-note character wears thin enough to need an emergency comb-over before the second act. The rest of the film is populated by some pretty big talent (Alfre Woodard, Alicia Silverstone, Andie MacDowell etc.) but they are rarely given a chance to shine. Perhaps the biggest waste of talent in Beauty Shop, is Djimon Hounsou, a commanding screen presence whose part here is about as relevant as the role he played in Constantine. Still, this terrific actor manages to light up the screen every time he's in frame.

The screenplay (or lack thereof) is the cinematic equivalent of a bad toupee. We get the male hairdresser who may or may not be gay - we have the cute little white girl who everyone criticizes for acting too black - and, of course, we have the token villain who will do anything to keep our hero from realizing her dreams. (His dastardly deeds are even caught on video - how's that for familiar?). All this hackneyed fluff may have gone alot more unnoticed if the film itself might've offered up even a hank of originality.

Beauty Shop was quite obviously thrown together quickly. Like Barbershop, it features people talking for most of it's running time. But unlike that surprisingly likable film, no one in beauty shop has anything interesting to share and it's glaring lack of story telling smarts is about like trying to hide a bald spot with a can of spray paint.

PARAMOUNT LUNCH

Not a big studio function but a rather pleasant, intimate, conversation filled meal I was fortunate enough to attend with members of the Paramount distribution team. A special thanks to Kathy and Jackie of Paramount for their wonderful hospitality, and Lois Blackburn and T.J. Rudman of Westates Theaters for allowing me to tag along. We took in a terrific lunch at the Paris Hotel and spent most of our time talking movies and making casual chit chat. Much more interesting conversation the tongue-wagging we'd all just sat through in Beauty Shop

MISS CONGENIALITY 2: ARMED AND FABULOUS (PG-13)
Starring Sandra Bullock, Regina King, Treat Williams, and William Shatner
Released by Warner Brothers

Miss Congeniality 2: Armed and Fabulous should quickly be filed under the "sequels that never should have been made" file. Like Legally Blonde 2: Red, White, and Blonde, it's one of those painful follow-ups that has no purpose but to make a quick buck. I suppose this Sandra Bullock flick isn't quite as dreadful as Legally Blonde 2, but at least the Reese Witherspoon dud was a sequel to a better, more likable movie. The original Miss Congeniality wasn't that good to begin with and now, we've been subjected to the further adventures of a character who was never interesting at all.

In Miss Congeniality 2, tough cop Gracie Hart (Sandra Bullock) finds it difficult to shake her recent celebrity status. It's only been a few weeks since her infamous crime bust in the first picture, and everywhere she goes, she is recognizable - rendering her near useless in undercover cases. Before long, her department finds a more useful (or more congenial if you will)
position for her. Soon, Gracie finds herself involved in a new case revolving around the kidnapping of Karen Krantz, the crowned beauty from the first movie. Paired with bitter, tough as nails fellow cop Sam Fuller (played by Regina King in a role that has no relation to The Big Red One director), the two must set aside their world of differences and work together to foil the kidnappers.

Sandra Bullock used to have that sweet "girl-next-door" appeal. It worked for her in movies like Speed and While You Were Sleeping, but it doesn't work much anymore. Her snorts and various pratfalls are meant to be endearing, but mostly, everything she does in this picture is either annoying or forgettable. Regina King is fun to watch as a "mad-as-hell-and-I'm-not-going-to-take-it- anymore" type but her character hardly serves a purpose, and after watching her scorching turn in Ray, this movie seems like a bad misstep for her. Only a goofy William Shatner is able to make the proceedings somewhat less painful.

The screenplay is bordering on atrocious. I don't see how or why all the contributing parties wanted to be involved. The movie is neither funny or charming. What's more, it's rushed and clumsy. Take for instance the fashion in which Benjamin Bratt's character Eric Matthews from the first film, is exorcized in this sequel. There's a scene in the early portion of the film in which Eric dumps Gracie over the phone. It's an unbelievable cheap shot - presumably included because Bullock couldn't convince Bratt to reprise his role. Good going Benjamin. The movie ditches romance and instead focuses on the hostile attitude that Bullock and King have towards each other. Attitude we all know will inevitably change to a grudging respect by the end of the movie. (Had this dramatic change of heart resulted in a steamy lesbian scene, there might have been a reason to make this movie - no such luck).

There are many out there who will, no doubt, think I'm being far too hard on this movie. I'm first to admit that I'm not exactly Miss Congeniality 2's target audience, but I have to tell you - it was borderline torture to sit through. Not because it was offensive or unfunny, but because there never seemed to be anything happening. They should have subtitled this movie Unarmed and Fatuous.

SONY ELECTRONICS AND DELUXE LABORTORIES COCTAIL AND BUFFET RECEPTION

Great Asian cuisine and open bar. What more can you ask for? If only I had won that $8,000 TV they gave away. Oh well. You can't win 'em all.

KUNG FU HUSTLE (R)
Starring Stephen Chow, Kwok Kuen Chan, Xiaogang Feng, and Hsiao Liang
Released by Sony Picture Classics

Kung Fu Hustle is a wildly creative and endlessly entertaining movie from Stephen Chow, whom, just a few short years ago, dazzled fans with the little seen gem Shaolin Soccer. Here, he's painting on a larger canvas, but the same spirit of fun is just as palpable.

Kung Fu Hustle (in Chinese with English subtitles) takes place in 1940's Shanghai and tells the fantastical tale of an Asian village of common folk with a little secret - some of the townsfolk happen to be all-powerful warriors. When a gang of slumlords come to town, these warriors are awakened from semi-hibernation to defend their way of life in a movie that fuses everything from martial arts, to musicals, to farce, to loony tune cartoons, to the traditional western.

Writer/director/star Stephen Chow is a barrel of unlimited energy. It is his ferocious imagination that makes the film sing. There is such a wacky, innovative bravado on display here, that it is virtually impossible not to have a great time while watching this film - particularly if you're a big time movie geek.

As was the case with Shaolin Soccer, Kung Fu Hustle is jam-packed with breathtaking martial arts sequences and dazzling visual effects. The movie incorporates wire work, CGI, and nifty camera trickery, to bombard the senses.

Though Kung Fu Hustle is a fusion of several different genres, comedy is the overriding element. The timing in this movie is picture perfect. There were very few moments in this film when I wasn't laughing my butt off. And the moments I wasn't laughing, I was absolutely awestruck by the visual splendor of it all.

Stephen Chow reminds me a bit of Quentin Tarantino in that he's found an exciting way to take material that we might find familiar, and puts a fresh, innovative spin on it. Don't let the subtitle thing detour you from taking in this glorious slice of cinematic magic. Kung Fu Hustle is an absolute kick, and I get all giddy just thinking about it.

Watch for ShoWest Report # 4. It'll feature a review of the new movie Crash (perhaps the best picture of the year), and an extended look at the
potential summer blockbuster Stealth.