Taxi is such an unbelievably inept comedy that I kept wondering if the title wasn't given to the film because it represented the work of so many hacks. In fact it was so painfully awful that I don't know how Jimmy Fallon could ever look Tina Fey in the eye again. It's really hard to fathom why Tina didn't blast him out of the water for leaving SNL to make one of the most unfunny films in the annuls of cinema history. Either the two share some sort of superhuman loyalty or Fallon has in his possession half a dozen photos of Tina blowing a goat.

Nearly 30 years ago alot was made of Chevy Chase's early departure from SNL to pursue the dollar signs that Hollywood held out to the overnight phonem, and ironically the film that lured him away was also about a bumbling cop. Foul Play was the film, not all that bad actually - unfortunately for Chase the film was stolen by a then-new-to-the-big-screen Dudley Moore. Trust me, compared to the foul play on display in Taxi that film was a comic masterpiece.

I guess it's fair to point out that Taxi was intended more as vehicle for Queen Latifah than Fallon, but whatever the circumstances it's difficult to imagine either of these two rising stars signing on for this joyless-ride without a gun being held to their head. With virtually no laughs and a story that shared about the same amount of plausibility as one of the "Love Bug" sequels - at what point did Jimmy Fallon decide "Screw SNL, this film is going to make me the next Bill Murray." "It's got 40 minutes of car chases and supermodels that rob banks, I'm in . . . where do I sign?"

I'll admit that the film was fascinating, I watched the whole thing (including the equally stupid outtakes at the end) pretty much for the same reason I was glued to the set when they bombed Baghdad, "shock and awe." And just when you'd think that the film couldn't get any lamer, it would surprise you with something even more inept. For example one of the running gags in the Taxi is that Fallon is a terrible driver, and to drive the point home there was a two minute scene depicting Jimmy's inability to leave a parking spot and pull onto the street. He would bang into the car in front of him, make a self-effacing apology, then bang into the car in back of him, "damn these confounded automobiles," back and forth he banged, without even attempting to use the steering wheel, "Bam, what's up with this lousy car?" I'm tellin' ya, this went on for at least 15 bangs, and it was probably the funniest scene in the movie.

True, comedies can be tricky, but if you're going for total farce it needs to be funny and if you're not, there has to be at least a shred of realism, and Taxi just kept banging around without the faintest clue of what it takes to make even the simplest of human beings laugh. Honest to God there isn't one genuinely funny moment in this film and the only thing that held it together in the slightest was the underdog buddy dynamic that develops between the hapless Fallon and the bemused and wise-cracking Latifah. Had the film been even remotely funny and been grounded in the faintest modicum of reality, you would have rooted for these two. As it was you were really left to root for the film to get over with.

I will give Taxi that much, it does eventually get over with. But the only laugh you're going to get out of this clap-trap piece of crap is if you re-arrange the letters in Latifah. Best of luck Jimmy, it looks like you're gonna need it.