M. Night Shyamalan's The Happening, or as I like to call it, M. Night Shyamalan's I Dare You Not To Laugh, is a train wreck on an epic scale. A film so awful it's almost worth sitting through, particularly if you want a good laugh. For my money, this flick is even funnier than You Don't Mess With the Zohan and The Love Guru. The problem is, The Happening isn't supposed to be funny. It's supposed to be a serious work of horror. 20th Century Fox is even exploiting the fact that this is Shyamalan's first R rated film. In the end, it's all a pathetic ploy to get more butts in the seats.

And before I'm labeled a Shyamalan basher, hear me out. I actually think the man is quite talented. I thought the Sixth Sense was a terrific entertainment, and Unbreakable was even better. What really makes The Happening such a grand disappointment is that the concept is actually pretty damn interesting. Sadly, a great concept does not a good movie make as this film so deftly illustrates.

In The Happening, a strange airborne virus is ripping through towns on the East Coast and causing folks to take their own lives. What could it be? Is it a chemical weapon created by terrorists? Is it mother nature turning the tables on unsuspecting humans? Is it all a really bad dream sequence? Happily, it isn't the latter. That would have been the biggest of cheap shots. As for the explanation, we only get potential theories, the big one being that toxins secreted by plants are causing all the damage.

This thriller plays like a fusion of Alfred Hitchcock's The Birds, an episode of The Twilight Zone, and Steven Spielberg's adaptation of War of the Worlds only The Happening nowhere near as scary, ironic, or awe inspiring as those three pictures. At the heart of this story is an underdeveloped tale of low key high school teacher Elliot Moore (played by Mark Wahlberg) and his quirky wife Alma (played by Zooey Deschanel). It seems that this couple are having some contention in their marriage. This contention is put on hold when the inevitable crisis strikes.

As was the case in Shyamalan's Signs, The Happening features an intimate character tale set the backdrop of a massive, unforseen (and unexplainable) event, but whereas Mel Gibson's Graham Hess was a character worth caring about, Elliot and Alma don't fair nearly as well. The so called contention in their relationship is a flat out laughable conceit. Furthermore, the lifeless performances by Mark Wahlberg and Zooey Deschanel do nothing to elevate the film's severe lack of drama. I suppose Wahlberg has a couple of shining moments. His pivotal "pharmacy" story is humorous and his conversation with an unassuming house plant is equally hilarious. The thing is, it isn't just the performances that are soul-less. This is how these roles were written. For whatever reason, Shyamalan sucks all of the potential terror out of this movie by introducing us to characters we could give two craps about. His aesthetic choice to write Elliot and Alma as child like and almost immature in nature is as misguided as nearly every choice he makes as a director here. Such a character device can work effectively if used properly. It worked with flying colors in Todd Field's haunting suburban tale "Little Children", but in The Happening, it's simply another strange gimmick that completely takes the audience out of the experience. Furthermore, this sporadically gifted film maker seems insistent on distracting the audience with sorely misplaced humor–Deschanel's "asshole" diatribe is one for the history books-- and seemingly odd human behavior. When I say odd human behavior, I'm not referring to those being taken over by the toxins. I'm talking about the supposed normal people in the piece–watch for character actress Betty Buckley of Eight is Enough fame. She shows up in the final act as a loner/survivalist with serious psychological issues. What should be a terrifying bit of end of the world paranoia turns into a laugh out loud riot.

There are a few moments of horrific imagery. The early moments provide a creepy tone, and the way several of these stock characters off themselves are certainly on the creative side. The creepiest bit features a construction foreman witnessing his workers leaping off the top of a three story building. Too bad that chilling sequence is ruined by the foreman's unrealistic reactions. The silliest moment comes when a man jumps in a lion cage at the zoo. What should be a shocking moment turns into what looks like a Luke Wilson out-take from Anchorman. Silly beyond belief.

Ultimately, The Happening aspires to be a cautionary tale. Clearly, Shyamalan's objective was to scare the audience. Sadly, he was so hell bent on throwing all this unnecessary garbage into the mix, that his number one priority got lost in translation.

I hope Shyamalan can pull himself out of this funk. He's certainly a talented guy. The proof lies in his earlier work. As it stands, The Happening is easily his worst effort. It's misguided, rushed, and poorly executed, and I can only hope that his upcoming "The Last Airbender" will be a step back in the right direction.