Princess Diaries 2 is one of those pictures that I'm not terribly fond of reviewing. Why you ask? Well, I'm not exactly the target audience. So after this scathing review, I will, no doubt, take a beating on the message boards by parents who adore the harmless nature of this absolute snooze-fest (much as they did when I reviewed the equally mediocre Sleepover). And yes, I know this is a fairy tale, but it's one that's completely devoid of magic, so what's the point?

This is, of course, the highly anticipated (yes, that is my attempt at sarcasm) sequel to the 2001 original, a picture that I often refer to (playfully) as Princess Diariah, as that particular movie, for me, was on par with having a bad case of the runs. Of course, the runs are much more pleasant than the Princess Diaries because they last a mere ten minutes or so (depending on who you are and what you've eaten), while the film keeps running for nearly two hours.

This well intentioned but dreadfully tedious sequel finds the cute Mia Thermopolis (Anne Hathaway) taking that next step towards becoming queen of Genovia. In order for her to obtain the crown, she must marry within thirty days, setting up the all-too-familiar, paint-by-numbers plot in which Mia sets out to find the perfect man. Naturally, she finds herself more interested in the bad boy with a hidden agenda, orchestrated by his mean uncle (played by John Ryhs-Davies who's dazzled audiences as both Sallah in two of the Indiana Jones pictures and as Gimli and Treebeard in the Lord of the Rings films). But fear not. This movie manages to steer well clear of any mean-spirited plot, although it doesn't attempt to avoid a plethora of obvious, insulting stereotypes.

Anne Hathaway is certainly charming, but she's almost robotic in her attempt at playing a Julia Roberts type in this movie which isn't at all surprising given that the director is Gary Marsahall. A few months back, Hathaway graced the screen in another fantasy, the underwhelming Ella Enchanted (again, I'm sorry to all the parents out there who will surely attack me for my not liking these films), and I have to say, I enjoyed her more in that film. I have no doubt that Hathaway has talent, but she has yet to find a vehicle that would allow her to demonstrate much of it. I hope for her next project, she tries something a little edgier. I'm certainly not suggesting she drop trow and go all out "Basic Instinct" on us, but it would be nice to see her show a little range (like Lindsey Lohan did in Mean Girls, for instance).

The legendary Julie Andrews reprises her role as Queen Clarisse Renaldi, and while she is certainly the epitome of class, even she is unable to elevate this mess beyond predictable boredom in the kingdom.
Gary Marshall film regular Hector Elizondo, once again oozes likabilitity and provides the film with it's best scene, one in which he confronts a dastardly John Ryse Davis.

I'm not going to go into depth describing my feelings towards Marshall. I will say that I think the underrated Nothing in Common, The Flamingo Kid, Frankie and Johnny and the marginally entertaining Overboard are his only worthy films (sorry folks--I'm not a Pretty Woman fan). Aside from those titles, none of his other directing efforts have really impressed me much (take note that I am, however a big Happy Days fan).

While nothing in Princess Diaries 2 is particularly offensive, there isn't anything particularly memorable either. We get the labored song and dance number (although I must confess--it's always a treat listening to Julie Andrews sing), the labored moment in which a supposed villain has a change of heart, the labored wedding sequence, and, of course, the almighty Smashmouth who grace the film with an all new tune. Seriously, these guys don't do nearly enough songs for movies.

Is there anything in Princess Diaries 2 that I did like? Well, aside from a couple of throwaway bits (I knew I was in for a miserable time when the token cat had one of the cutest moments in the picture), I'd have to say it was quite a thrill seeing Paul Williams (the Phantom of the Paradise himself) show up in a cameo, although I'm not quite sure who the hell talked him into doing it.

Again, I know I'm not exactly the target demographic for this film. My wife liked it, and there were plenty of people in the audience laughing all the way through it. Still, the tweeners behind me were constantly complaining about the length of the picture. They were truly bored by it, and if they're the real target audience, than this movie may be headed for the bargain theaters before long. Princess Diaries 2 is a royal pain in the ass as far as I'm concerned.