White Chicks. Yes - you read the title correctly - WHITE CHICKS! This movie has it all. Fart jokes, Hilton sister clones, dumb super-models, an African American sports star with a taste for Caucasian women, and…oh yeah…did I mention that this flick has White Chicks in it?

Just over a month ago, some guy on the "Breakin' All the Rules" message board more or less called me a racist for not raving about the Jamie Foxx comedy (in all fairness, I didn't trash it either). Well guess what pal, I didn't like this one either. In fact, if it weren't for a couple of bright moments, I would suggest that this movie play as a double bill with Johnson Family Vacation. Not because I'm racist (which I certainly am not), but because these movies are just not funny.

White Chicks is a one-joke movie in which Marlon and Shawn Wayans play cops who pose as spoiled rotten hotel heiresses. Why? It's not that important really. It's just a garden variety under-cover cop premise that allows the Wayans Brothers to dress up and act like White Chicks for an hour and forty-five minutes (too long for a comedy of this nature. Especially one that seriously fails to deliver the funny).

White Chicks was directed by older brother Keenan Ivory Wayans (of In Living Color fame), a man fully capable of delivering the goods (as he did with the hilarious I'm Gonna Get You Sucka over fifteen years ago). With Scary Movie, Wayans lowered his aim toward more potty-style humor, which worked well enough in that franchise, but with White Chicks it just backfires.

Shawn and Marlon aren't particularly inspired here, and certainly did a poor job trying to pass for women. It was almost insulting that we were expected to buy into this nonsense. Quite frankly, once they become the White Chicks, they became more creepy than anything else (almost resembling the Gelflings from The Dark Crystal), and even though this is a comedy, it was too much to ask of an audience to go along with the idea that no one realized they were actually guys.

What's more, White Chicks is terribly inconsistent. I suppose that Keenan thought that since this is essentially a farce, audiences wouldn't question how his lead characters would be able to transform themselves from men to women so quickly, nor did he stop to think that maybe we'd be curious as to why the prosthetics didn't stick to Shawn Wayans' goatee, which seemed nice and perfectly groomed every time he'd pull his latex mask off. When a movie is this dumb, you can't help but notice these things.

The only thing that keeps this film remotely tolerable, are some great bits courtesy of the supporting cast, most notably a hilarious Terry Crews. Crews plays athlete Latrell Spencer, a muscular NBA star with an appetite for - you guessed it - White Chicks. Crews' energy drowns everything in it's wake, and the sequence in which he does a shirtless dance with a whistle in his mouth is a high point in this bleached blunder. I also enjoyed the clueless airheads that the Wayans' bond with.

White Chicks is pretty forgettable stuff. Not surprisingly, it resorts to all kinds of gross-out gags when it can't generate genuine laughs (the sequence in which Marlon rips a hangnail out of his toe with his own teeth wasn't even particularly gross - it was just stupid).

The Wayans family is a talented one. Marlon has even proven to be quite effective in a dramatic role (check him out in the brilliant Requiem For A Dream). White Chicks is definitely a step in the wrong direction for the family Wayans. I could have dealt with all the stereotypes and dumb, mechanical situations had the movie only been funny. I think I laughed five times, and those laughs were all thanks to the very entertaining Terry Crews. Yet, even his manic energy couldn't salvage this mess.

It wasn't like I was expecting Tootsie when I went into White Chicks, but consistent laughs would have been nice. Oh well. At least I have Anchorman to look forward to. And if that fails (which I'm confident it won't), I can always go see Napoleon Dynamite again. That movie was funny.